Blinded by Science in the Online Dating Game

Virginia Heffernan born August 8, is an American journalist and cultural critic. She worked as a staff writer for The New York Times — first as a TV critic, then as a magazine columnist, and then as an opinion writer. She has also worked as a senior editor for Harper’s , as a founding editor of Talk , and as a TV critic for Slate. Her book Magic and Loss: The Internet as Art argued that the Internet is a “massive and collective work of art”, one that is a “work in progress”, [1] and that the suggested deterioration of attention spans in response to it is a myth. Virginia Heffernan was born in Hanover, New Hampshire. D from Harvard University. Heffernan began her career as a fact checker with The New Yorker magazine. While there, she started the blog “Screens” for the New York Times website, which eventually became “The Medium” blog named after her column.


The rare one-joke book that never gets old, with a pleasingly tangy aftertaste. Set up as a one-way conversation, with the protagonist never heard but always painfully felt, the story takes some generationally specific insecurities and spins them into a novel about growing up in the s and never getting anywhere. The dialogue rolls forward through 15 years, the victim bumping into the Underminer at every passing cultural signpost indie filmmaking, Burning Man, Internet dating , always half a step behind and terminally clueless.

Yet funny. The talented Bennett fuels her fiction with secrets—first in her lauded debut, The Mothers , and now in the assured and magnetic story of the Vignes sisters, light-skinned women parked on opposite sides of the color line. The novel opens 14 years later as Desiree, fleeing a violent marriage in D.

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Much has been written about how our smartphone-wielding, super-connected culture has changed us and the way we date, seek love , and find affection I am guilty of at least three articles. We are told we are more distracted, less committed. We are distanced and narcissistic. They are fundamentally true, in both digital and analog, virtual and IRL. And now that Tinder and Bumble and Hinge have made heterosexuals sex-app veterans alongside the Grindr ‘ing gays, these universal truths also transcend gender and sexuality.

So, this glorious Valentine’s Day , here are some lessons to remember when you’re out there. This may be more for me than for you because at any moment, 24 hours of every day, there is the potential for me to unlearn these lessons and do something really dumb. So, if someone is racist or angry or cynical in their profile, they are racist, angry, and cynical in real life. Some People Just Need to be Heard Recently I was back home, finally going through old junk I had left in my childhood bedroom—boxes of papers and drawings and spiral bound notepads of wandering, weepy poetry.

Amid the piles of paper, I found a letter I must have never sent, dated August

Who You Calling ‘Young Lady’?

But since many of my friends use them, I was curious. The competition is fierce among companies to prove that their particular method is more scientifically valid. Jeffrey Lohr, a professor of psychology at the University of Arkansas who has researched some of these claims, along with two graduate students, is pretty skeptical. Still, Internet dating is a big business.

SCRUFF: Michael Andor Brodeur — In a land of selfies and shots of lunch, poetry SCRUFF: Mike Albo — Did the Internet Make Dating Worse for Gay People?

Instead of just your basic eggplant penis or peach ass , you can select a pierced eggplant and a peach on a dinner plate! Condoning drug use—that was unwise. There has already been some blowback excuse the pun from the media about all this. We gays are frequently accused of bringing about moral decline and a breakdown of civilization. But truth be told, we are often the first to create culture. Disco, beards, vogueing, hooking up through the internet—we were there first!

Time will tell whether the Gaymoji stick around and reach a larger public. Who knows, by next month your heterosexual husband may be texting you an emoji of a blindfolded and ball-gagged head. Language does shape the imagination, however, and emoji language is no exception. I worry that by making our desires cartoonish, we will all befuddle ourselves and actually seek out eggplant shaped genitalia and will only want to sleep with someone in a bunk bed.

New languages are hard to master.

Review: Mike Albo Makes a Biological (and Emotional) Journey in ‘Spermhood’

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By Mike Albo “Look, I hook up online; I’m not superior. AIDS crisis, cruising Chelsea, dating, even early online hookups via AOL’s m4m chat.

Henrietta Hudson Hudson St. The longest-running lesbian bar in the city 26 years! Pat at Union Pool Union Ave. Tylerkinesis creates vibrant video visuals to put you into a dance trance, and the dependable DJ Amber Valentine is also a resident. Monthly; no cover. Be Cute at Littlefield Degraw St. Fourth Ave. This friendly, fun dance night is hosted by drag performer Matty Horrorchata, who sprinkles her positive vibes over the night.

Drag guests like Tyler Ashley, Miz Jade, and Patti Spliff present high-energy live performances; and Littlefield has a big dance floor to try out your Missy Elliott impersonation or at least attempt it. The crowd is more mixed, but you can tell the queer men here love and respect their womyn. Empanadas and brownies are for sale, and drinks are cheap. Dagger at the Dreamhouse Wyckoff Ave.

Covert St. The Bushwick queer scene suffered a mortal wound when the short-lived but legendary queer art space the Spectrum closed last year.

Off the Gay Grid

I understand the nostalgia for the “good old days” of gay life — we felt so subversive and deviant! I can remember basing my entire life around the occasional house party or Toys for Tots benefit thinking it would be the perfect occasion to meet a quality guy, only to strike out and feel like there was no hope Men are just as hard to read as ever. We remember it as a more visceral and genuine time, and complain about how no one cruises in real life anymore, because we’re all constantly looking at our screens.

After all, the illicit sexual tension that hangs in the air of a gay bar can’t be replicated online and doesn’t quite translate to its heterosexual counterpart.

By Mike Albo Last fall I truly went to Vinyl on a date. star escort you recognize from your 2 a.m. online exploration of Treasure Island Media.

This time we’re supporting Make the Road New York , the largest progressive grassroots immigrant-led organization in New York state — providing legal and survival services, policy innovation, and community organizing! More info about login and lineup to c We’ve got some beautiful debuts in the mix, and can’t wait to share the love. This time we’re supporting Make the Road New York, the largest progressive grassroots immigrant-led organization in New York state — providing legal and survival services, policy innovation, and community organizing!

We can’t wait to snag our copies. Three cheers for this phenomenal former Bespoke reader. AJB is pleased to welcome Omotara James to the press! Welcome, Omotara!

Internet Dating

Advance book purchase is required. The purchase of the book is a special order. The project is the first in a series that asks artists to imagine what a museum community space can be. Liz Collins explores the boundaries between painting, fiber arts, and installations, creating vibrating color fields bursting with color, shape, and texture.

Liz Collins works fluidly between art and design, with emphasis and expertise in textile media. She spent the following four years growing her company, designing, producing, showing, and selling clothing for the international fashion market.

Mike Albo: Those were the creepy early days of the Internet! Purnell: Growing up, I’d meet men in their ’40s, who I would date, who said they.

Buddhist thought leader and much-admired meditation expert Sebene Selassie explores our tangled relationship with belonging, connection, and each other in her new book, You Belong: A Call for Connection. Using ancient philosophy, multidisciplinary research, exquisite storytelling, and razor-sharp wit, Selassie leads us in an exploration of a Step up and forward and join Buddhist Teachers Amaragita UK and Larry Ward USA who will share their wisdom and insights with us – inspiring us towards healing racial injustice in our practice and in our world.

The B25 bus also stops nearby. Check out our website under “Upcoming Sits” to see a photo of the exact location. This location was chosen because in the s there was a slave market at the East River and Wall Street. Peter and Benjamin Croger established a benevolent society that advocated for emancipation and there is a historical sign at the park in their honor. WHY: We sit as an offering of healing and solidarity.

We sit to honor lungs and breaths that were not honored. Bodies and lives violently taken without just cause. We sit for Black folk oppressed then and now, mutual aid societies then and now. We sit for the liberation of all sentient beings. Malik JM Walker.